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Mindblower

by PERMACRUSH

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1.
All My Heroes The clock is always tickin' Hourglass, a sealed fate, Got to get it while you're still kickin', No time for runnin' late, Not sure how many days, In life - no guarantees, Going out in a fuckin' blaze, To Those Still Grieving, All My Heroes Are Leaving, To All Of Those Still Tryin' Public Crucifyin', Eternal Glorifying, All My Heroes Are Dying, It's sad when they need the money, It's sad when they need the dough, Holdin' on for more glory, Holdin' on for one more show, There's no happy ending, No one to bail them out, When its time to check out, To Those Still Grieving, All My Heroes Are Leaving, To All Of Those Still Tryin' Public Crucifyin', Eternal Glorifying, All My Heroes Are Dying, When you've seen better days, Youth has gone away, Can the best really be behind us? You appear through the haze, Still able to amaze, With the talent that astounds us, This time is gonna be different, This time I'm beating fate, This life coulda been different, More time for being great, Its over before the beginning, Holdin' on, just one more, Not dyin' til' he evens the score, To Those Still Grieving, All My Heroes Are Leaving, To All Of Those Still Tryin' Public Crucifyin', Eternal Glorifyin', All My Heroes Are Dying, The clock is always tickin' Hourglass, a sealed fate, Got to get it while you're still kickin', No time for runnin' late, Not sure how many days, In life - no guarantees, Going out in a fuckin' blaze, To Those Still Grieving, All My Heroes Are Leaving, To All Of Those Still Tryin' Public Crucifyin', Eternal Glorifying, All My Heroes Are Dying,
2.
Best Days 04:37
Best Days I wanted to teach you what I have learned, Expect in life to get burned, occasionally, The man behind the curtain is, not what you see, I still hold on, giving you pieces of me, What if the best days are really behind us? What if the best years never find us? What if the miles weren't so rough? What if the smiles just weren't enough? I get up every day, Find a way to get paid, Feelings I incinerate, Dollar short, day late, I commiserate, In a world filled with hate, Still try to be great, Got a lot on my plate, What are we tryin' to do out here? People livin' their lives in fear, What if the best days are really behind us? What if the best years never find us? What if the miles weren't so rough? yeah What if the smiles just weren't enough? It makes it hard, When you just aren't enough, Why'd it all have to be so damn tough, Wanted to see you in the sunshine, Lazing in the glory of my days, Of my days, Yeah, Ahhhhhh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh, Ahhhhhh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh, Ahhhhhh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh, Ahhhhhh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh, Ahhhhhh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh, Ahhhhhh Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh, Ahhhhhh
3.
Billionaires 04:04
Billionaires Never been bitter, Never been a quitter, Pick of the litter, Gonna buy me a Twitter, I'd like to get you a home, You could call your own, If only that was all it would take, To know you're here and safe, We could take a trip, Find ourselves, Get lost in it, A reason we're where we're at, Can't put a price on that, Burnin' hundred dollar bills, Like nobody cares, Got mountains of gold, In my dragons lair, Nobody looks anymore, They get their phones and stare, If life was easy, We'd all be billionaires, Billionaires, Billionaires, Got more than their share, Billionaires, Never see it your way, My way or the highway, Always be the big boss, But now at what cost? I'd like to give you everything, You could ever need, Never get your feelings hurt, Never have to bleed, Never find yourself in a jam, Never have to cry, Those are things that money can't buy, Though many have tried, Burnin' hundred dollar bills, Like nobody cares, Got mountains of gold, In my dragons lair, Nobody looks anymore, They get their phones and stare, If life was easy, We'd all be billionaires, Billionaires, Billionaires, Got more than their share, Billionaires, What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, Live your life, Make it last longer...
4.
The Feels 04:41
The Feels I collect my thoughts, When the silence finds me, All alone my own worst enemy, Again, There are times when, It hits you in the feels, Takes your breath away, Leaves you devastated, There are days when, Nothing still seems real, Try to find a way, Life is disappointing, Take a deep look inside, To the place you can't hide, Learn to deal with how to be real, It still hits you in the feels, Life is all about, Decisions and choices, Choose wrong and you'll be, Left to your devices, There are times when, It hits you in the feels, Takes your breath away, Leaves you devastated, There are days when, Nothing still seems real, Try to find a way, Life can be frustrating, Take a deep look inside, To the place you can't hide, Learn to deal with how to be real, It still hits you in the feels, What people see, Is not my identity, I needed someone to believe in me, There are times when, It hits you in the feels, Takes your breath away, Leaves you devastated, There are days when, Nothing still seems real, Try to find a way, Life is disappointing, Take a deep look inside, To the place you can't hide, Learn to deal with how to be real, It still hits you in the feels,
5.
Perfect 04:20
Perfect All of my self-doubt, Insecurities, Always reinforced by your words, Never your actions, I still needed more, I want to thank you for your non-support, Oh no, I fucked it up again, Oh no, no longer pretend, Oh no, the secrets that you send, Wish I was perfect, Wish I was perfect, All the words you said, Never told you how they hurt, Kept it all inside, Wallowed in the dirt, Feeling so alone, I can't make you whole, Never wanted this, Time has taken its toll, Oh no, I fucked it up again, Oh no, no longer pretend, Oh no, I fucked it up again my friend, Wish I was perfect, Wish I was perfect, Wish I was perfect, Nobody's perfect... All of my self-doubts, Insecurities, Always reinforced by your words, Never your actions, I still needed more, I want to thank you for your non-support, Oh no, I fucked it up again, Oh no, no longer pretend, Oh no, the secrets that you send, Wish I was perfect, Wish I was perfect, Wish I was perfect, Nobody's perfect...
6.
Real Fears 04:57
Real Fears Seems just like, Yesterday, Ridin' bikes in the month of May, Fresh asphalt, Neighborhood, Never knew we had it so good, Born to lose, Pony tennis shoes, Jordache jeans, Misguided teens, Break dancin' I am spinnin' World around me yeah, I am drowning, She said she doesn't cry real tears, She'll show you your real fears, She'll show you your real fears, Yeah, A troublemaker, Cigarette machine, Motel swimmin' pool, Feelin' mean oh, I never was a bad kid, a bad kid... I still admit all the, things I did, I didn't want to crash and burn, That's how we learn, That's how we learn. Break dancin' I am spinnin' World around me yeah, I am drowning, She said she doesn't cry real tears, She'll show you your real fears, She'll show you your real fears, Yeah, When your ego, Likes it rough, But your id just ain't so tough, well... Still had so much, Left to figure out, When you're living with self-doubt, and didn't want to end up, Strung out, Asking for a handout, Break dancin' I am spinnin' World around me yeah, I am drowning, She said she doesn't cry real tears, She'll show you your real fears, She'll show you your real fears, Yeah,
7.
Raindrops 04:23
Raindrops I still wanted to believe, You were mine, On a cloudy day, You were sunshine, Until the end of days, I'll wait, To see your smile again, If only you could see me now, It seems cliche, As I whisper to myself, Oh I wish you were here, No nobody else, I miss you the most, Raindrops, On my soul again, Oh how many times I tried, To find my way again, Long lost and lonely, All alone again, I wonder where in the world you are, As I wish upon a star, I still wanted to believe, You were mine, On a cloudy day, You were sunshine, Until the end of days, I'll wait, To see your smile again, If only you could see me now, It seems cliche, As I whisper to myself, Oh I wish you were here, No nobody else, I miss you the most, Raindrops, On my soul again, Oh how many times I tried, To find my way again, Long lost and lonely, All alone again, I wonder where in the world you are, As I wish upon a star,
8.
Second Chance Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, I wanted to tell you I was broken, It wasn't your job, To fix me (no, no, no) Handful of pills, No we weren't jiving, I told you, you shouldn't be driving, Took a second chance on you, Made me feel like a fool, (no, no, no) Took a second chance on you, You had to be so uncool, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, I wanted to know your deepest secrets, I wasn't ready for what you'd tell me, (Oh, no, no) Every time you berate me, So sorry you hate me, Took a second chance on you, Made me feel like a fool, (Oh, no, no) Took a second chance, on you, You had to be so uncool, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Wanted to tell you it was unspoken, Never knew you'd try to trick me, (Oh, no, no) No more cheap thrills, I'm surviving, Out the back while you are arriving, Took a second chance on you, Made me feel like a fool, (Oh, no, no) Took a second chance on you, You had to be so uncool, Took a second chance on you, Made me feel like a fool, (Oh, no, no) Took a second chance on you, You had to be so uncool...
9.
Cactus 04:27
Cactus When the road calls your name, You can't fight it, When you know its time to leave, You ride it, You get chills from the breeze, You know you like it, When you live the dreams you see, You can't hide it, I wanted to give you something more, So I got my keys and ran for the door, I sighed, I lied, I cried, I died, I let you go and fuck me up inside, Tried and I tried, Swallowed my pride, I let you go and fuck me up inside, Flight of an eagle, on pins and needles, A bit out of practice, You're still as sharp, As a cactus... When the road calls your name, You can't fight it, When you know its time to leave, You ride it, You get chills from the breeze, You know you like it, When you live the dreams you see, You can't hide it, I wanted to give you something more, So I got my keys and ran for the door, I sighed, I lied, I cried, I died, I let you go and fuck me up inside, Tried and I tried, to swallow my pride, I let you go and fuck me up inside, Flight of an eagle, on pins and needles, A bit out of practice, You're still as sharp, As a cactus... Known a long time that I'm broken, Words no longer left unspoken, Still you tried and tried to fix me, Though you couldn't quite fix me...
10.
Rise Above 06:09
Rise Above How do you know when its passed you on, Are you holdin' onto days bygone, Tell myself I should be lettin' go, Question is how will I know? Gets a little harder to hit those, High notes, Takes a little more, to get ready for the show, Its not as easy to do the things I love, When I hit a low, I rise above, When I hit a low, I rise above, Can't stop me from doing the things I love, You hear the cries as I take flight with the dove, When I hit a low I rise above, I rise above, rise above... What do you do when things get rough, How do you deal when things get tough, Find a way to keep hangin' on, Another day, another song, Gets a little harder to take the high road, Takes a little more to justify things I know, What will you do when push comes to shove, When I hit a low I rise above, When I hit a low, I rise above, Can't stop me from doing the things I love, You make my night when I look in your eyes I can't get enough, When I hit a low I rise above, I rise above, rise above... How many times I tried to find a way to sing you the song, And every time the words came out it seems as though they, Came out wrong, Oh what I'd give to sing to you again tonight, I'd mess up all the words for a chance, to make it right, Make it right... When I hit a low, I rise above, Can't stop me from doing the things I love, You make my night when I look in your eyes I can't get enough, When I hit a low I rise above, I rise above, rise above...
11.
Still Kickin' Prepare to be disappointed, Life is rarely what it seems, Keep expectations low, For when you break your dreams, No we can't win em' all, They say its darkest right before the fall, Can't always finish first, Gotta take some losses, Before you quench the thirst, Bittersweet is the taste, When your will is laid to waste, And it seems that life is too far gone, Well know that I'm still kickin', Still holdin' on, So many times I thought of givin' up, Many nights I wondered if I had enough, Do I have what it takes, Can I still make a difference (should I even try?), I didn't have to think about it, As I wiped the tear from my eye, You see me survivin', You see me movin' on, Know that I'm still kickin', Still holdin' on...
12.
Its Still Rock & Roll To Me What's the matter with the clothes I'm wearing? Can't you tell that your tie's too wide? Maybe I should buy some old tab collars? Welcome back to the age of jive Where have you been hidin' out lately, honey? You can't dress trashy 'til you spend a lot of money Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new sound Funny, but it's still rock and roll to me What's the matter with the car I'm driving? Can't you tell that it's out of style? Should I get a set of whitewall tires? Are you gonna cruise the miracle mile? Nowadays you can't be too sentimental Your best bet's a true baby blue Continental Hot funk, cool punk, even if it's old junk It's still rock and roll to me Oh, it doesn't matter what they say in the papers Cause it's always been the same old scene There's a new band in town but you can't get the sound From a story in a magazine Aimed at your average teen How about a pair of pink sidewinders And a bright orange pair of pants? You could really be a Beau Brummel baby If you just give it half a chance Don't waste your money on a new set of speakers You get more mileage from a cheap pair of sneakers Next phase, new wave, dance craze, anyways It's still rock and roll to me Alright Rico! Ooh, what's the matter with the crowd I'm seeing? Don't you know that they're out of touch? Well, should I try to be a straight-A student? If you are then you think too much Don't you know about the new fashion, honey? All you need are looks and a whole lotta money It's the next phase, new wave, dance craze, anyways It's still rock and roll to me Everybody's talkin' 'bout the new sound, funny But it's still rock and roll to me Woo! Ooh
13.
West Coast 04:25
West Coast Down on the West coast, they got a saying "If you're not drinking, then you're not playing" But you've got the music You've got the music in you, don't you? Down on the West coast, I get this feeling like It all could happen, that's why I'm leaving You for the moment, you for the moment Blue, yeah, you You're falling hard, I push away, I'm feeling hot to the touch You say you miss me and I wanna say I miss you so much But something keeps me really quiet, I'm alive, I'm a lush Your love, your love, my love I can see my baby swinging Parliament's on fire and her hands are up On the balcony and I'm singing Ooh baby, ooh baby, I'm in love I can see my sweet girl swaying Crazy y cubano como yo, la-la On the balcony and I'm saying Move baby, move baby, I'm in love I'm in love (I'm in love) I'm in love (I'm in love) Down on the West Coast, they got their icons Their silver starlets, their Queens of Saigons And you've got the music You've got the music in you, don't you? Down on the West coast, they love their movies Their Golden Gods and Rock 'n' Roll groupies And you've got the music You've got the music in you, don't you? You push it hard, I pull away, I'm feeling hotter than fire I guess that no one ever really made me feel that much higher Te deseo, cariño, girl, it's you I desire Your love, your love, my love I can see my baby swinging Parliament's on fire and her hands are up On the balcony and I'm singing Ooh baby, ooh baby, I'm in love I can see my sweet girl swaying Crazy y cubano como yo, la-la On the balcony and I'm saying Move baby, move baby, I'm in love I can see my baby swinging Parliament's on fire and her hands are up On the balcony and I'm singing Ooh baby, ooh baby, I'm in love I can see my sweet girl swaying Crazy y cubano como yo, la-la On the balcony and I'm saying Move baby, move baby, I'm in love I'm in love I'm in love
14.
A Day In The Life I read the news today, oh boy About a lucky man who made the grade And though the news was rather sad Well, I just had to laugh I saw the photograph He blew his mind out in a car He didn't notice that the lights had changed A crowd of people stood and stared They'd seen his face before Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords I saw a film today, oh boy The English Army had just won the war A crowd of people turned away But I just had to look Having read the book I'd love to turn you on Woke up, fell out of bed Dragged a comb across my head Found my way downstairs and drank a cup And looking up, I noticed I was late Found my coat and grabbed my hat Made the bus in seconds flat Found my way upstairs and had a smoke And somebody spoke and I went into a dream Ahhhhhhhhh I read the news today, oh boy Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire And though the holes were rather small They had to count them all Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall I'd love to turn you on...

about

People aren't usually making albums like this or producing songs like this, I know. This is a collection of songs written between 2018-2023. I like to say I wrote 100 sad songs during that time. This album helped me work through some grief and personal loss. More or less a diary and a capture of this part of my life. It has been a struggle at times but I came out the other side, better. More aware of my life and my own mortality. I found out who are the ones that are there, willing to help me and who were the ones that were just distractions. There are things I want to get done and still do. Setting goals is important in any aspect of your life whether it be maintaining your sanity or waistline. People have to work at life. We all struggle and deal with wins and losses. It's part of the deal. Embrace the wins, shake off the losses. Sing the songs loud. Share music.

The album cover was done with AI. I really thought it would be fun to have an image that was a direct contrast to what the music is. You may think you are getting an explosive Metal record. Ha. No.

I hope you enjoy these songs. Several are stripped down, acoustic versions that I really preferred the simpler demo to the other arrangements. There are some that use the 12-string guitar which I have always loved, the way it sounds. At this point in my life I am both appreciative and grateful for those who still find my music. It is something that I very much need to do and I really want to thank those who take the time to listen, view and share it. The social media has become more of a struggle in my life as I really don't allot as much time for it but I'm happy when you find me there and still share pieces of me, when I can. I love you.

Chris

Mindblower can be found at all major music retailers.

credits

released September 1, 2023

All songs written, performed, recorded, mixed and produced by Chris Crush. Copyright Meanstreak Records 2023.

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Permacrush West Hollywood, California

Chris Crush took the band from the Midwest to clubs of Hollywood, opening gigs for some of the biggest names in Rock at the legendary Sunset Strip venue, The Whisky a Go Go. Chris Crush plays GMP guitars, SIT Strings, Quilter amps and Clayton picks. Find the new album, Mindblower, out now. ... more

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